


Something Just Like This

by Magnetism_bind



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Choices, Complicated Emotions, Cunnilingus, Developing Relationship, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Multi, Pegging, Polyamory, Romance, Threesome - F/M/M, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 19:18:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11019852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magnetism_bind/pseuds/Magnetism_bind
Summary: Miranda and James have something they want to try and they invite Thomas to watch.Later, when the three of them are in an established relationship, they do it again.





	Something Just Like This

 

 _'But she said, where'd you wanna go?_  
_How much you wanna risk?_  
_I'm not looking for somebody_  
_With some superhuman gifts_  
_Some superhero_  
_Some fairytale bliss_  
_Just something I can turn to_  
_Somebody I can kiss'_

_\- Something Just Like this (Coldplay)-_

_Then_

They don't intentionally discuss Thomas in bed but nor do they deliberately exclude him. He simply occurs naturally in their conversations. Miranda will mention something he said at dinner or the fact that he's out for the evening at a concert. James tells her how their discussions  for Nassau went that day or observations about books that Thomas and he have shared during their walks. 

"Do you talk about your husband with all your lovers?" James inquires, curious about it, though he has no intention of prying. He knows Miranda and Thomas have an unconventional relationship to say the least, but theirs is the most civilized arrangement he has ever encountered.

"Not deliberately," Miranda says. "But nor I try to forget I have a husband any more than I try to conceal the fact that I have lovers." Her fingers stroke through James's hair. "Does that bother you?"

"On the contrary I find it most admirable." He kisses her breast and feels her smile against his ear as his hand slides down between her legs once more.

 *  *  *

"I wonder if you would be receptive to an idea we discussed previously."

They had discussed it once while drinking wine on a rainy afternoon. Miranda had brought up the topic first, merely as one of the sexual activities she lamented more people should be amenable to in her opinion. James had as good as said that he was interested, no, if he were honest he had definitely said he was interested. That's about all it took for the idea to take root between them.

(Of course he was interested. Of course he had thought about it, but with a woman it was different. Most women, especially gentlewomen for that matter, wouldn't be interested (let alone approve) of the act. Miranda, on the contrary had been most enthusiastic.)

"Do you want to tonight?" James asks, his interest quickening as he watches her undress. 

"Yes." She smiles. "But I also can't help wondering if you would be receptive to an audience."

That centers James's attention very quickly. He draws back slightly. "What do you mean?"

"How would you feel if Thomas were here? If he watched us?" Miranda’s watching him carefully as she asks. "Would it bother you or would you find it arousing?"

Color stains James cheek, but he maintains composure. He’s not going to admit that he’s dreamed of more than that. He wants to keep the Hamiltons as his friends, both of them.

"Would he be...acceptable to that?"

“I believe he would find it very satisfying.” Miranda murmurs. “We’ve discussed something of a similar nature, James, just so you know. But neither of us have ever done that with another lover of each other’s.”

He nods, still contemplating the matter and she wonders if she’s pushed it too far.

“All right.” James says at last.

“Really?” Miranda starts to smile. She had been prepared for him to not want to, to be uncomfortable with the notion, but at the same time she's also suspected that James not only wants, but has needed this for a very long time.

“Very well, then.” She nods. “Would you pour us all a drink?”

He acquiesces, while she goes over to the bell and rings for her maid. “Anna, would you ask Mr. Hamilton to come to my bedroom?”

“Of course, madam.” The maid bobs her head.

“Thank you.”

James glances over his shoulder as Miranda steps into her boudoir and then pours them each a strong whisky, and then he pours a third because that was what Miranda had said. All. He puts the stopper back on the whisky and gazes at his hands. They're steady enough.

“Miranda?” There’s a knock at the door and then Thomas enters in his shirtsleeves, holding a book, finger still marking his place. “Anna said.” He stops at the sight of James. “Ah, Lieutenant. Have you seen my wife?”

“Many times, my lord.” James answers without thinking and then chokes slightly on his whisky.

Thomas laughs and then stops himself. “Ahem.”

“Is that you, Thomas?”

“Yes, my love.” He says, eyes still on James.

“Come in, please.”

Thomas sighs faintly. “Miranda, I’m in the middle of a very fascinating read of the studies of the new world and I presumed you had plans for the evening…”

“That can wait.” Miranda returns in a dressing gown. “The lieutenant and I were wondering if you would be amenable to a proposal.”

“Oh?” Thomas inquires, his tone casual, but James notes how his eyes grow more alert as he glances back at James. “What did you have in mind?”

“We wondered if you would care to watch while I fucked him.” Miranda clarifies, while reaching for the pins in her hair.

“Let me,” James says at the same time that Thomas simply murmurs a quiet “Oh.”

Just one word but it’s a soft sound of awe and wonder as James moved in to pull his wife’s hair loose, letting it cascade down over her shoulders.

Thomas licks his lips. “Are you sure?” The question is directed at both of them, but he looks at James in particular, aware of how intimate something like this would be for the man.

“Yes.” James gazes back at him, remembering how Miranda had also made sure he was certain.

“I wouldn’t ask if you weren’t comfortable or had no interest in this.” Miranda had told him when they first discussed it. “You can always say no to something, James.”

“I’m well aware of that.” James had told her patiently.

From some the constant reassurance and assessment of his agreement and interest might be insulting, but not from Miranda. Now he watches her hair lie loose and lovely around her face, and he leans in without thinking to kiss the curve of her throat. He pauses a breath away from pressing his lips to her skin, remembering Thomas’s presence.

“What are you waiting for?” Miranda whispers. So James kisses her and his hand naturally curves around to cup her breast.

Thomas takes his drink to the armchair standing in the corner of the bedroom as Miranda draws James over to the bed. James watches her as she leans over him, still entranced by her hair tumbling over her shoulders.

His hands slide down to cup her backside, lifting her up onto his lap. She runs her fingers through his hair and kisses his mouth teasingly.

They kiss for a while, James’s hands moving with familiarity over her body, until Miranda presses meaningfully against his groin. “Mmm…”

She slides off his lap and goes over to the dresser. “James, why don’t you get undressed?”

James reaches for his cravat and then glances over at Thomas.  He can’t help it.

Thomas sits in the chair, one of his hands folded over his thigh, the other resting against his forehead and cheek, apparently lost in silent observation of the scene before him.

James pulls his cravat loose and removes it He’s overly conscious of Thomas’s eyes following him but he’s not uncomfortable with the man watching. Quite the contrary. The idea of Thomas watching him, watching _them_ , it’s causing his skin to grow heated, sending coils of arousal straight to his cock.

He hesitates and then he pulls off his boots, setting them aside at the foot of the bed. There’s a brief smile on Thomas's lips, and James catches it before it vanishes again.

He flushes slightly because Thomas’s smile isn’t dismissive or mocking, more an amused acknowledgment of James having his undressing routine established in his wife’s bedroom. The nature of this, so gentle and loving but clearly affectionate, fills James with a trembling warmth.

He banishes it swiftly, reaching up to pull his shirt over his head, baring his back and shoulders.

There’s a swift intake of breath from the corner and James pauses with his shirt halfway over his head. “Should I leave it on?” He asks uncertainly.

Miranda prefers him nude, but perhaps it would be easier for Thomas not to be accosted with the sight of his entire bare body. Inside his shirt, he glances down at his pale freckled form and wonders if that will be the case tonight.

“No. By all means, continue.” Thomas murmurs. His voice sounds slightly rougher than usual.

James finishes drawing his shirt over his shoulders and tosses it to join his cravat, before he steals another glance over at Thomas. Thomas is still seated in that lax position of observation, but somehow very present in the moment all the same. He gazes back as James removes his breeches and drawers in one slow motion. James sets them aside and then turns back, just standing there, hands at his side, waiting.

Miranda closes the drawer she’s been standing at. “On the bed, please, James.”

He settles on his back and she brings over a small bottle of oil, dropping a kiss on his upturned mouth as she turns away again.

Again James pauses, but so far Thomas has said nothing insulting or judgmental, even though the mere act of letting a woman do this, letting a woman do this to _him_ , is laying himself bare to the possibility of ridicule and humiliation.

The possibility that Thomas not only doesn’t care, doesn’t judge and just possibly…finds it arousing is staggering to James. His inclination is to say no, Thomas is a gentleman, a lord who would never think such a thing, but James’s private instincts whisper _yes, yes, he does._

He lies on the bed on his back, and opens the oil. While they haven’t done exactly what Miranda has suggested previously, they have used fingers and mouths to the same effect and James is obviously familiar with the process of preparing himself. Perhaps this is why Miranda had suggested this; perhaps he’s merely lucky to have a woman who wants him in this fashion. Either way, he’ll take it.

He slicks his fingers and places his hand between his legs. He can’t help wondering what Thomas thinks of him like this. Is he aroused now? Watching James work himself open, his calloused fingers pushing inside his hole, so that Miranda can fuck him. James bites down against a moan at the thought, adding another finger.

Thomas stirs faintly in his chair and James looks over at him. Their eyes lock tightly, and James licks his lips feverishly, his fingers moving slightly quicker as he gazes back at Thomas.

“James.”

He snaps his head up to find Miranda standing there in front of him. His fingers cease moving, still inside of him, just waiting.

She loosens the tie on her robe and lets it fall open, revealing her luscious nude form.

James watches, dry-mouthed, knowing too that Thomas is watching her too as she reaches for the curved wooden cock. It’s roughly the size of James. He’s not intimidated by the thing as some men would be. Indeed his heart beats faster at the thought of it being inside him, of Miranda fucking him…

...of Thomas watching. Thomas. _Oh god, what if it was Thomas_.

Miranda settles it in place, tightening the straps around her smooth hips before reaching for the oil once more. She kneels between James’s spread thighs.

James pulls his fingers out and wipes them on the sheets without thinking. He flushes as Thomas's eyes follow the motion of his hand, and then Miranda presses the tip between his thighs. James gasps faintly. She slides in slowly, but firmly and his hands go to her hips, steadying her.

It isn’t enough.

“More.” He rasps, needing this, needing her this way, to move faster, to give him more.

Miranda grips his shoulder and thrusts deeper.

James groans, his fingers biting harder into her hips, watching the rise and fall of her breasts in motion as she moves above him, her hair falling over her flushed face.

He turns his head to see Thomas leaning forward in his chair, his hands now clasped together as he watches intently.

James's head falls back against the pillow. The night narrows to a single point in time, this moment of having Miranda inside him, Thomas watching him like he’s the only thing in the world. In this moment, this is all there is and outside of this room, nothing else matters. 

He glances back at Miranda and there’s a knowing smile in her eyes.

She rocks her hips and James groans. His cock is hard against his stomach, but he doesn’t make a move to touch it. He just wants Miranda to keep moving.

“Come for me.” He whispers, rubbing his thumb over her clit.

“You first.” She whispers back, sliding against in him in that delicious way that makes him want to shout aloud with the sheer pleasure of it.

James grins and strokes her clit harder, making her gasp. He looks back over at Thomas who’s still watching just as steadily. The intensity of his gaze makes James’s chest grow a little tighter.

He thinks about the picture they make, Miranda all in her loveliness riding him, himself bare and open, giving himself to her, wanting it. Somehow knowing Thomas sees him like this, sees him and doesn’t care, makes James’s skin grow hot and his head swim. He swipes a hand over his cock, stroking himself in time with Miranda’s thrusts, needing to come with her inside him and Thomas’s eyes on him.

And he does, spilling between their joined bodies with a guttural groan of surrender.

Miranda arches her back, her head falling back as her own pleasure overtakes her, James clenching tightly around her. She gasps and shudders, fingers gripping his chest and he wants her to leave marks, he wants to be marked by this. He wants to remember this night forever.

There’s silence in the room, a companionable warm silence that lets them all breathe within it without stifling them.

James’s mind is blissful. He’s aware that time is still passing, that Miranda still rests inside him. The sweat is drying on his skin and he’ll want a bath at some point. But for now, this is…

“Well, that was very…enjoyable.” Thomas breaks the silence first after clearing his throat faintly. "To say the least."

Miranda laughs slightly. She turns her head and gives him a fond smile. “Come here and kiss me.”

“Your wish is my command.” Thomas rises and walks over to her. He leans down and kisses her mouth.

Miranda smiles up at him.

“Thank you for the invitation.” Thomas murmurs. “I’ll believe I’ll return to the study and give you two some time alone.”

His hand hovers above James’s thigh just for the barest of seconds.

 _Touch me_ , James thinks fervently. _Touch me, touch me, touch me._ He wants it so badly his teeth dig into his lower lip and he feels it’s obvious to both of them, how much he craves Thomas’s hand on his body.

Instead Thomas draws his hand away and leaves the room without another word.

James watches the door close.

“Was that all right?” He murmurs, unable to keep from asking. He has to know.

“Hmm?” Miranda eases out of him gently. “Oh, yes, he’s just being considerate.” She leans over and kisses him. “Thank you, James. That was quite delightful.”

He smiles up at her, watching her as she removes the strap and sets it aside to be cleaned later. She's not wrong. It was wonderful and the lax soothed feeling in his body is enjoyable, but he can’t help thinking of Thomas all the same.

“What about you?” Miranda comes back over to the bed, wrapping her dressing gown around her once more. “How are you?”

“I’m fine.” James assures her at once.

“Merely fine?” She arches an eyebrow at him. “I rather hoped that might exceed fine, but.”

James slips an arm around her, drawing her down on the bed, making her laugh. “I’m very well.” He murmurs, kissing her throat. “I can’t remember the last time I was this well.”

“Good.” She kisses his chest and slides down beside him.

James slips an arm around her, enjoying her lying close against him. He is well; that is not a lie. But all the same he can’t help thinking of Thomas downstairs in his study. So close and yet so far away.

 *  *  *

And then Thomas kisses him and James can’t hold back on the love that’s been building inside him since he first met Thomas.

It seems unfathomable that he should be lucky enough to have not only one, but two people who love him, and yet somehow he does.

They share a bed the three of them sometimes and other nights it’s Miranda and James, and other nights it’s James and Thomas.

And whatever London would think if they were found out, James doesn’t care for this, _this_ is joy, this between them, this is what he wants.

 *  *  *

_Now_

It’s a night when all three of them are together and James is undressing slowly, mostly distracted by watching Thomas. He catches Miranda’s eye in the mirror and she winks at him. He blushes, which is ridiculous. It doesn’t matter if he watches Thomas now. 

“I have a suggestion for tonight.” Miranda announces as she brushes her hair.

“Oh?” Thomas looks curious. “What is it?”

“I’d like to fuck James if he has no objection, and this time,” Miranda smiles at Thomas, “I want you to join in.”

James’s mouth has gone dry, his entire body is still. It's not as those they haven't fucked. They have. Thomas has been inside him, but somehow the memory of that particular night, with wanting so much and not being able to speak of it, meeting Thomas’s eyes across the room, draws up a surge of desire within him.

“James?” Thomas looks to him.

“Yes.” James says without hesitation. He goes over to Thomas and kisses him, half in, half out of his shirt, standing there in his stockings, and just kisses Thomas. “I want that.”

Thomas shivers in anticipation. “Good.”

He slips an arm around James’s waist, his hand curving down over James's back as he whispers. “You have no idea the torture it was not to let myself touch you before.”

James shudders, pressing against him. “Touch me now then.” They’ve wasted so much time, he never wants Thomas to hold back. “Touch me.”

Thomas sinks to his knees, pressing his mouth against the front of James’s breeches, drawing them open. He mouths hungrily at the curve of James’s cock, and James cups the back of his head with a groan, needing more.

Miranda kisses the back of his neck. “On the bed when you’re ready.” She whispers, leaning in to kiss his mouth.

James leans into her kiss as he caresses Thomas’s hair.

Thomas finally draws off his cock with a sigh. “How do you want him?”

James flicks his hair tie at him as he finishes undressing. Thomas just smirks at him.

“Mmm. That does require some thought doesn’t it?” Miranda considers the matter. “I think I’d like him to ride me.” She says at last. “So if you would to prepare him.” She nods at the oil.

“I can prepare myself.” James protests, but it’s barely a protest because he loves it when Thomas does it.

“Yes, of course you can, my love.” Thomas kisses his shoulder. “But you’d rather I do it, wouldn’t you?”

“Well.” James murmurs weakly. It’s true.

Miranda settles on the bed, watching them. Her hand idly strokes James’s left ankle as Thomas kneels between his legs.

“Spread your legs.” He slicks his fingers and James watches without speaking as Thomas slides one inside him, past the tight muscle, slowly and attentively working him open.

At the same time, he wraps his other hand loosely around James’s cock, working it gently, not fast enough to gain any friction, just a measured teasing motion that quickly drives James to distraction.

Between the fingers in his ass and the teasing to his cock, he’s lulled into a delirium of lust, dying for release.

“Enough.” Miranda commands.

Thomas withdraws his hands and James sighs, but shifts slightly in the bed to make room for Miranda.

She positions herself on her back, the slicked cock between her legs, ready for him. James kneels over her, slowly lowering himself upon it. There’s a kiss down his lower spine as he sinks further, Thomas kneeling behind him, his hand stroking down James’s back.

James breathes in and out at the sensation of being stretched and filled. He’s not dying for this as he was last time (the last time it had been so long since he was touched like this and now he’s had Thomas in his bed, in _him_ , regularly) but all the same, it feels so _good,_ his body simply relaxes with the infinite pleasure of it. He gazes down at Miranda, unable to stop smiling at her.

Miranda answers his smile with one of her own, her hands on his thighs, urging him onward.

So he moves, rocking forward, taking more until he’s filled and even then he still wants more, even as he’s surrounded by their love. Miranda’s hands steadying him, caressing his thighs. Thomas’s hand on his hip, and then his other hand slips around to take hold of his cock. James’s head falls back against Thomas’s chest. He turns his head so Thomas can kiss him. A slow consuming meeting of their lips, tongues slowly gliding together as Thomas strokes him fully from base to tip, grazing the underside of his cock with his blunt nails.

James moans and comes over his hand. He keeps moving, his hand between Miranda’s legs, stroking her clit as she gasps, thrusting upward. James rides out every last spasm of their joined orgasms, until both their bodies still at last.

Then he slowly draws off Miranda and falls upon on his back, panting. Thomas squeezes his thigh and leaves the bed for a moment to disappear into the boudoir.

Miranda leans over him, kissing his mouth, her hand on his chest. “You are so beautiful.” She whispers. “Do you have any idea of how much I love you?” There’s a quiet fierceness in her words as though she fears James won't take her seriously.

James cups her face, stroking her cheek. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?” He returns just as fiercely.

“I have some.” She murmurs, smiling.

She slides over to sit up as she undoes her straps. James strokes the curve of her hip.

Thomas returns with cloths and a basin of water. “Here. I thought these might be appreciated.”

“Thank you.” Miranda reaches for one, “But it’s your turn now, is it not?”  She indicates James who’s still lying there naked and ready.

James raises an eyebrow, but what she’s implying makes his spent cock a twitch. The thought of being fucked by Thomas right after Miranda is more than he’s dared fantasize about. And he’s dared fantasize a lot for he has a powerful imagination indeed. 

“Miranda.” Thomas starts. “James has already finished.

“I want you too.” James tells him. “Come on, Thomas.”

“If you’re sure.” Thomas still hesitates. 

“I’m always sure.” James answers without thinking. His words bring a smile to Thomas’s lips. “Stick your cock in me, my lord.”

At that Thomas just rolls his eyes. “If you’re going to start  _that,_ I'll-”

“You’ll what?” James inquires. There's a challenge in his green eyes and Thomas Hamilton doesn't back down from a challenge.

“Well, I’ll just have to fuck you then, won’t I?” Thomas reaches for the oil.

Miranda’s settled on the bed beside them, watching with pleased enjoyment. Her hand strokes through James’s hair as they both watch Thomas slick his cock.

“Are you ready?” Thomas asks politely enough.

James simply spreads his legs in invitation.

Thomas sinks into him easily and James wraps his thighs around him, bringing Thomas full force inside him.

He groans as Thomas half pulls him up into his lap, thrusting upward into James's angled body. James's fingers dig into Thomas’s backside, trying to get him to move faster. He’s loose and hungry for Thomas’s cock, but Thomas persists in moving unbearably slowly inside him, working his hips in a patient rhythm that has James groaning with impatience.

“ _Thomas_.”

“Need I remind you that you’ve already finished.” Thomas reaches up to card his fingers through James’s hair, tugging a handful of it gently. “I will take my time for as long as I want.”

James turns his head and kisses him slyly on the neck. “Will you, my lord?”

“James.” Thomas keeps moving, but his hips stutter at the title on James's lips.

“Will you take your time so long that I grow hard again?” James whispers. “And need your mouth on me? Will you last so long for me to need your tongue on my shaft?”

Thomas suppresses a groan. _Christ in heaven_. And then abruptly he eases James off his lap and slips out of him. “Actually you’re the one who could be putting your mouth to better use.”

“I beg your pardon?” James exclaims. 

“Turn over.” Thomas says presumptuously.

James gives him a look, but does, resting on his hands and knees.  

“Miranda.” Thomas nods and she moves to sit at the headboard, smiling at James with a wicked grin.

“There, lieutenant.” Thomas leans down to whisper in James’s ear. “Now put your mouth to good use.”

James obeys, leaning down to lick across Miranda’s clit. She opens for him and he presses his lips to her cunt.

Thomas chooses that moment to thrust back inside him. He urges James’s head down even further, angling James's backside higher for his cock. God help him, James loves this, loves being positioned between the two people he loves best, the feeling of their bodies connected, Miranda’s heat beneath him, Thomas’s cock filling him.

Miranda gasps as his tongue pushes inside her, her fingers curling in his hair. Thomas’s hands are on his backside, holding James firmly in place as Thomas fucks him. And _now_ it’s faster, Thomas moved to quicker speed by the sight of James’s mouth between his wife’s thighs, at the memory of James's words. 

James moans at the pulse of Thomas’s cock within him, and then he clenches tightly around Thomas, holding him in place. Thomas murmurs something husky and unintelligible causing James to raise his head briefly.

“Since you insist on putting me in my place, my _lord_.” He pushes back against Thomas. “Take care to remember how it feels to put me there.”

“You…” Thomas shakes his head in amusement, and then he simply reaches between James’s legs to tug at his cock.

James cries out helplessly. He is far too sensitive to come again, but Thomas’s hand works him relentlessly making him gasp in pained pleasure until finally James presses back again, fucking himself on Thomas’s cock.

“Fuck me, Thomas.”

“It’s Thomas now, is it?” Thomas murmurs teasingly.

“ _Thomas._ ” James entreats before he returns to Miranda and Thomas finally does, sliding his hips against James's in a painfully delicious drag of their bodies. He rocks into James with a force that makes James gasp. Half a dozen thrusts more and Thomas finally comes, spilling deep inside him, Miranda crying out faintly, her juices sweetening his tongue as she comes again.

"There." Thomas says with a note of finality. He sinks down on the bed beside Miranda, drawing James down to lie between them.

“You’re on my hair.” Miranda murmurs.

James shifts slightly with a chuckle, his backside resting every so subtly against Thomas’s groin.

Thomas sighs faintly and smooths a hand over his hip.

He starts to speak and James just turns his head to kiss him. He _knows_ that Thomas enjoys their banter and the private joke endearment they've made of their title and rank, but there’s always the moment afterward when he wants to assure James that they’re equals in his eyes and James knows this already. He wouldn't be here in bed with them if Thomas didn't consider him his equal.

“You don’t have to say it, my lord.” He whispers, half teasing even now, “I know what you think of me.”

Thomas’s gaze arrests him, holding him firmly in place. “Do you?” His hand curls through James’s hair. “Do you know how much I love you, lieutenant?”

James’s lips twitch faintly. “I have some idea, my lord.” He says mildly. And Thomas just laughs, and leans down to kiss him as Miranda laughs on the other side.

“You two.” She shakes her head faintly before cradling it against James’s shoulder.

James kisses her forehead. Thomas’s arm rests around him. He closes his eyes in contentment.

 *  *  *

_Then_

“What is it?” Thomas asks. Miranda’s been sitting by the window, gazing out at the rain, her knees drawn up to her chest. For a moment she looks very young in her nightgown and loose hair and he wants to take her in his arms and comfort her. 

“What’s wrong?” Thomas comes to sit by her.

“Are we being selfish?” Miranda asks. It's barely been a week since James has joined them in their bed and she can't stop wondering if they've done the right thing. 

“How so?”

“By keeping James.” She sighs. “He’s so…exceptional, he could go anywhere, he could do anything, Thomas and as long as he’s with us…there’s always the chance of scandal, the possibility of discovery. The chance that we could destroy him.”

Thomas reaches for her hand. “James is a man capable of making his own decisions.” He says softly. “I have had similar fears, I confess.”

“And?” She searches his face, seeking reassurance. 

“And he chooses to be here with us. He chooses to know us.” Thomas brings her hand up to his lips. “We have to trust that if he ever needs to choose otherwise, he will tell us when that day comes.”

Tears seep into the corner of Miranda’s eyes. “The most selfish part is, I don’t want that day to ever come.”

“I know.” Thomas pulls her into his arms, cradling her against his chest so he can kiss her hair. He knows that feeling all too well.

 *  *  *

_Now_

Miranda wakes first the morning after. James and Thomas are still peacefully asleep. She watches them for a moment, these two men she loves so dearly and so desperately. And then she slips out of bed and reaches for her dressing gown before going quietly into the other room.

She takes her usual seat by the window and looks out at the London streets. It's a bright clear morning and smoke is winding over the neighbor's chimney pots. 

“Miranda?”

She looks up to see James standing there in the door in his shirt and nothing else.

“Am I disturbing you?”

“No, I was only…” She trails off, unable to think of something to say. 

He comes over to sit beside her. “Is it about last night?”

“Yes.” Miranda says after a moment. “And no.” It isn’t that simple, and yet it is. She gazes at James, his face so intent on her, so open and full of love. Anyone who knows James would love him. She wants to keep him safe, she wants him to be happy. Are they enough for him?

“I worry at times that we won’t be enough.” She says.

“What?” Confusion furrows James’s brow and she wants to smooth out the lines with her fingertips and tell him it doesn’t matter, to take her back to bed and forget these fears.

“This is all very…new and exciting for you, I know.” Miranda says quietly. “But a wife of your own, eventually a family…these are things, normal things, that a man in your position will be expected to have one day. Not only expected, perhaps even want."

He just gazes at her in shocked surprise. “Do you not want me to stay…”

“No… oh no, my love,” She clasps his hands tightly. “I love you, and Thomas loves you and we want you here in our home, in our bed, in our hearts and lives forever. If that’s your wish. But I fear there will come a time when you'll want more, and I don’t want you to resent us for keeping you from that path.”

“It’s true that most men want those things.” James says at last. “But I am not one of them. Miranda…” he places his other hand over hers. “ _This_ is what I want. I want you and Thomas. You are my family.” Admitting that feels like opening his heart and letting the raw secrets of it spill out, but he has to confess this if he’s to make her understand how much he means what he's saying.

“Are you sure?”

“I have never…" He hesitates. “I can’t imagine a life without the two of you. It would be empty and meaningless and I refuse to throw this away simply because of what society expects.”

“I’m not asking you throw it away,” Miranda's faintly exasperated, but reassured all the same. “I just want you to consider carefully, James. That’s all.”

“I have.” James says. “I think about this in the morning when I rise. I think about it before I fall asleep at night. And I’m happy. This is what I want, something just like this. Whatever happens in the future, I want us to share it together, the three of us, as long as you’ll have me.”

He cups her face in his broad hands and kisses her. A long, affirming kiss that fills her heart with warmth until she knows that James's certain of this, that he's not confused or in the dark about what he wants. He's choosing them willingly with open eyes. 

“Shall we go and tell Thomas then?” Miranda murmurs against his mouth.

James’s smile is answer enough for her.  


End file.
